Funny Marriage Quotes

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you. And she never did.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.